Tuesday, June 06, 2017

Aquaducks... Unite!

There was a time, believe it or not, when only one wordsmith dared to make such a simplistic pun in order to create a funny cartoon character... That wordsmith wasn`t me, no - but it was a favorite of mine, back in the day: Roy Thomas. (I`ll credit him though equal credit, at least, could go to one Scott Shaw.. perhaps? I am not 100% sure though... It is probably so, however, and in being so it mimics perfectly the genesis of the very character they were spoofing in the whole process - Aquaman! Who else... Mort Weisinger and Paul Norris shared the credit of coming up with an ``Aquaman`` in 1941 - many decades later, it stands to reason that another scribe -Thomas- and another artist -Shaw- would combine their efforts to come up with... Aquaduck!)

An aqueduct... And a cartoony duck. What could be more sublime? And simple! When it came time to turn the entire roster of the fabled Justice League into cartoon anthropomorphs, it was the obvious choice indeed: and little luminous me had no reason to ever believe that there would be another ``Aquaduck`` out there... ever!  Boy was I ever wrong there...

Just as there came a plethora of other Aquamen, in time, for every reason under the sun...

There came to be a hell of a lot of good reasons for there to arise more Aquaducks as well - money being the chief one indeed! Disney could have never let that elude them... of course not!

The name ''Aquaduck'' had to be used (and profited from) by the foremost duck in all the land (and sea, maybe) - and that is Donald Duck. (Sorry, Scrooge - you stole your schtick from Dickens anyway!)

For me though, there was... there could only be... one Aquaduck - this one: 

We always forgave him the poor design 
that Scott Shaw! (exclamation mark required) 
gave him - undoubtedly to try and have 
some major difference with the 
unforgiving Donald... 
Or else...
(It`s a Don thing, I guess...)

Aquaduck (or, as we christened him ourselves, 
``Aster Cushy`` - yes, yes we did; I did! 
Since I couldn`t wait for Roy or Scott 
to come back and do it properly...! 
Remember the Aqua Force
Well, I just had to spoof my own team creation, 
also - it stood to reason and all - 
and it all started with Aster Cushy aka 
Aquaduck - duh! Poor Aquaduck...) 
he wasn`t the only one who suffered 
somewhat greatly due to a passing 
resemblance with Donald; 
Howard did, also...

Which is probably why he looked like this 
on his first foray into the seventh art: 

... as remote as could be from a Disney character! 
(And a DC...!)
(But that is another story...)

Howard got the full treatment of redesign already, 
now that he`s part of the Disney machine, 
just like all of Marvel and Star Wars...

Aquaduck got remodeled, too - by the fans 
(including me!) 
But the result is something less than official...

This isn`t about Howard versus Donald versus Aster... 

This is about the same thing as attempting 
to run down all the AQUA products out there 
(and we have tried, a couple of times...!)
or all the Aquaficionadas 
on all the beaches in the world... ever! 
This is about figuring out...
just how many Aquaducks there are now!!!

So... Let`s go:

Now *this* particular AquaDuck is interesting indeed: 
he appears to have taken on a very active role in his community, 
one that requires the lifestyle of a full-fledged mascot...! 
He even collected a sponsorship deal, it seems - 
with the fair Maid Naturally
We are impressed...

Donald remains the uncontested king, however - 
laughing (not quacking) all the way to the bank...

The following deserve some consideration though - 
seeing as they are afloat... are ducky, even... 
and some have the undaunted support 
of some notable 

Okay, okay, okay... technically, that is an 
Aqua Swan... yes!
Cut us some slack...!
(Or a piece, as it may be...)

Yeah... Have a slice - and stuff it - willya?

But back to the ducks now - shall we?

We would be remiss if we did not include here 
a few other decidedly (duckily?) famous ones, 
aside from the ``top three`` that we mentioned...

Oregon Duck looks like Donald alright - 
but he got away with that, apparently!

And Daffy... of course! 
We gotta have Daffy!
(Plucky? No.)

The clear cut winner of all this, however, has got to be the richer one 
-call him the quack supreme already- 
and we all know who that is now...

Hey - the kids remember him - forevermore (!?)

And he shamelessly has his own family 
slaving away for him, onboard...
while he parties on with his gal

Truly he is a Don...!

We would not be surprised to find out that these quackers 
are all being part of his administration... soon! 

The *real* Liquidator should be incensed...

But that is another story!

This is about Aquaduck... 

And my Aster Cushy will always be 
the only Aquaduck - for me!

Hear that... you... quack!? 

We do not care how wet `n` wild you are...!

Or that you... and that... that... wet rat pal of yours...
may even look more super-heroic than our old fave...!

And that you are so rich and mighty...!!!

Or even that you appear to have your very own brand 
of Aquaficionada - wearing Aquaduck Bikinis!

Truly, nothing stops *Don Aquaduck Disney* 
from raking in the dough 
with a 1001 offerings...

Aqua... DUNK it is, after all...?

2... 1... Blast Off!

Don here is, verily, even more voracious than a bloodsucker himself! 

We wonder on whose side *she* is on, now...?

... probably the same as everybody else...

It is enough to just about... lose it... isn`t it?

Well, so sorry to have to break it to you, 
bloodquacker... er, sucker...
Life cannot always be ducky... all fun and games...
So let us compose ourselves - 
and accept things as they are! 

We remain on our hero`s, ah, boat - 
for it still does float - in limbo, but still - 
like a few others who have never left his side: 
that oddball octopus there... 
and the pink whale.

We`ll pretend that this is his new logo...

Logo designed by.. someone! Found on the web!

 It is that AquaDuck from Spokane, though, 
 that is doing the most for this planet... 

...without a doubt!

Bravo... *AD*!

 Ultimately, wouldn`t it be ideal if all of these types of fowls...  
 er... super-heroic characters... banded together for fun, profit... 
and sharing that message of eco-awareness that is so 
 urgently needed nowadays... hmm? 
 Maybe Disney wants to call Spokane...? 
 Maybe not...  

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