Thursday, May 05, 2011

Man Or Fish?

To everyone who doubted my theory regarding the uncanny similarities between Arthur Curry aka Orin, the King Of The Seven Seas Aquaman and the Horseman & Nature Boy Ric Flair...!

Both of them are hailed as ''60 minutes men'' - for one (the wrestler) it is a boast and a mark of stamina and performance, while for the other it is only a bogus limitation, part of a set of pre-fabricated limitations designed to keep him (the super-hero) back, never to reach his full potential and never to threaten the pole position of their preferred son, Stuporman of Kreeptown there... Otherwise, who would anybody with half-a-brain (or, better yet, with a complete one) truly prefer: a fake-a$$ alien from a planet with a RED sun or the heir apparent of fabled Atlantis?

Both of them are, also, naturally blond and blue-eyed - although they successfully made even that turn into a negative for the super-hero of the two: as it is, through ret-con and all, a curse rather than any sign of hailing from a ''superior race''...!

Both of them are ladies men - although it is really only played up for the man with Flair as the Sea King was busy playing married man (married sea man?) with children - but only on one port, for the longest time anyhow... Still, as Ric had many, Arthur had flings with that Inuit woman who bore him a little bastard (promptly killed off since by the powers-that-DC) as well as some feline chick (not Catwoman!) several surface-dwellers and even Power Girl (!)

Both of them are born leaders - their proclivity to run and rally the troops is legendary: Flair with his Horsemen (one could say his sacrilegious Horsemen - but, hey, come on now: it's the 4 Horsemen we are talking about, not the 9 Angels at the World's End!) and Aquaman with his Justice League, which he led on many an occasion (most notably during a Martian Invasion (!) then in Detroit and another memorable time, too, when it briefly morphed into a ''Justice League Atlantis'' instead of ''America''...!)

They say of Flair that one of his qualities is ''ring generalship'' - amazingly enough, these days on such videos to be found on YouTube as this, it is apparent that, if Aquaman had been a wrestler, they would have said the exact same about him as well! Alas, just as with Flair on so many occasions during 6-man tag action (or, worse still, battle royales) our hero is clearly one of the competitors at a disadvantage in the ring. Flair was often the weakest in pure physical strength (while the strongest in his set of skills and sometimes even stamina too) and, in the linked example here, you'll see that, with the notable exceptions of Batty and Cappo, Aquaman is clearly not the strongest in the ring either.  But it all make-believe anyways - even when the wrestlers are flesh-and-bone - so who cares, right?

Aquaman and Ric Flair have also in common their rather unique and one could even say outright odd fashion sense, too. They have color patterns all their own...  Both also have devoted followings, to the point that one evokes comparisons to every other athlete that excelled in his field (that would be Flair, yes: and the athletes could be Larry Bird, Michael Jordan, Luis Figo, Dale Earnhardt, Ayrton Senna, Guy Lafleur, Peyton Manning, Troy Aikman, Dan Marino, Brett Favre or any other guy who hung on too long!) while the other often leads people (and creative teams working on his P.R. alike) to evoke comparisons fringing upon blasphemy: from Luke Skywalker to Jesus Christ Himself.

Both of them have had shattered families throughout the years, too: in the case of the wrestler, it is apparent why: he was away most of the time, not faithful to the mother of his children, too busy being a jet-flying, limousine-riding, kiss-stealing, wheeling-dealing son-of-a-gun in order to be a proper family man. The super-hero? They just thought a happy family man sitting on a throne was not an exciting enough story to tell on a monthly (or, sometimes, bimonthly) basis - so they promptly dissected his family, the Aqua Family, by killing one-by-one each and every member of it - and then bring some, if not all of them, back...  This is, in effect, the comic-bookie industry definition of what a ''reconstituted family'' is. Several sidekicks (Aqualad, Aquagirls, Tempest, Cal Durham,Tusky, an octopus named Topo and a dog named Salty, most recently) later, his dead infant son dead than alive again, his origin tweaked a number of times as well, the Aqua Family can be deemed as ooky as that Addams one, most probably.

Both Flair and Curry have been members of several key collectives that have shaped their respective universes and industries: such a fact can never be denied by anyone.

Most importantly of all, both are tremendous at what they do.  And what they do is not quite what you think they do, no: it certainly isn't styling or profiling and it certainly is not talking to sea life all day either!

They both make a living at making (some of) their opposition look good - and they are such masters at it, they've obviously convinced a little and a lot of the total make-believe/kayfabe reality that presents the likes of Hogan, Superman or The Rock as "better"...
When they are really not.
At all.

Because the true magnificence is with he who makes the entire ploy believable - and when it comes to the seventh art as that which is performed between a "squared circle" there can be no doubt what trickery is there indeed...

And so - the superbs are not superb at all, since they clearly do less than the others around them, sometimes opposing them and sometimes supporting them. A supporting cast often outshines its supposed stars; it is obvious to the fine observer of cinematic technique and prowess. Why can't it be observed in sequential art, where suspension of disbelief is king, or in sports entertainment, where it rules as well (if not quite as absurdly - sometimes.)

Hence, the true star is the one that takes the fall.
Or a "Flair Flop" as it is, here...

Case closed.

Now enjoy Aquaman in action - WRESTLING action - and see further evidence of the two's uncanny resemblances. Here you'll see Aquaman chop like Flair; display intelligence in the squared circle, like Flair; even ''Flair Flop'' like Flair!  (Which is incredibly ironic as it is what attracted our attention to this topic once more - as the Flair Flop was rechristened a ''man or fish'' condition or, er, fishy reaction to opposition!)

Aquaman is one of 30 super-heroes competing in the ROYAL RUMBLE on the screen below: a fitting thing for a King of the Seas.  It is also very  ''aquamusing'' to note that Ric Flair's crowning as a ''60 minutes man'' came indeed when he competed in his very first Royal Rumble, coming as the third man in and lasting over an hour in order to win the event.  Aquaman could have done exactly the same, too: after all, his old bogus vital stats sheet had him as ''able to stay out of water at optimal condition for an hour'' - but, somehow, it was a throwaway Marvel character that was scripted to win this Rumble match.  Aquaman does toss out of the ring and eliminate the venerable Captain America in this one, at least - before being cheated of victory by a cheapshot from the mutant with the attitude, Wolverine!

Still *aquamusing* to watch: just ignore the awful play-by-play and color commentating!


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