Have you ever heard of ''Atlantis Events Inc.'' - gente?
(Now, ''gente'' is the Portuguese-Brazilian jargon for... ''people'' - that's all, folks!)
No? Well, neither had I - until that brave new service (since 2000, is it? I didn't bother to wikipedia it
- sorry! Quote the Lucian... Never more!) called You Tube
that I have and frequently use now, let me know all
about it - and, boy, have I heard of it and, most atrocious of all, have I seen
the nature and entire scope of those ''events'' now
Because, you see (and surely you know already) that the moment you watch any combination of videos on that wretched YouTube thing (in this case, lots of aquatic stuff relating to the mythic Atlantis
indeed: in combination with several films featuring scantily-clad beach-going aquaficionadas
as we call them here; in several degrees of intimacy too...) well, what happens then is that that wretched YouTube (via its highly-trained monkeys *or* several dozens of nano-bots, I can imagine...) starts suggesting to you certain other videos to watch... You may resist the sting of curiosity there and not fall for any of those traps (and that is all they are, without a doubt) but then there are other unavoidable pitfalls along the way.... For it also starts on a staccato of commercials before each new video on your playlist has a chance to unfold: and one of those videos, to my total and complete dismay, was about some purported-to-be ''Atlantis Event'' coming up, with some tune about summer playing on; the sort of degenerate event fitting only Sodom & Gomorrah we would say, but we cannot say, for sure, if Atlantis was any better indeed... This ''event
'' hence comes up in the same breath as a totally legitimate (and captivating even) documentary about Finding Atlantis
(which is considerably better than wasting your time finding just one little fish named after Captain Nemo!) - a fine production by National Geographic, nothing less! I am not sure how the high brow Brits behind NG feel about being juxtaposed with the queer as folk from all over this lost world... (No Arthur Conan Doyle reference here, folks! Think of another Book...!)
Absolutely disheartening - however easy it is to imagine that
sort of thing being the root-cause of the sinking of Atlantis...! (Ah - and that summer song that played? How well-chosen it was, at least: Lana Del Ray -or is it Lana Devil Ray- and her Summertime Sadness
...! How fitting to feel summertime sadness on such a gay cruise indeed.
The lone highlight of that entire vid, I tell you!)
This was, truly, the last drop (aqua-pun fully intended) in a recent flurry of sickening sights lately: as this heat wave sweeps through our aqua-area here and doesn't have any of us apt to sing an aqua-aria at all (what can I say: we're parched, if not completely dehydrated! No singing possible under these conditions: not even in the shower! Water, water everywhere - and not a drop to drink!) so we look to the rather friendly waters of the internet for solace (that is, when our ventilator is not letting us down and our processor is not overheating, too, and passing out from the traumatic experience!) and we only found crassier and crassier material that simply leaves one... well, disgusted, quite frankly.
I mean what is the aquamusing
value of this, for instance, I ask you:
Artist: unknown to me!
Blame him - not me!
What a revolting development on the themes explored in 2000's Cast Away (with Tom Hanks - not the previous Castaway
film starring Oliver Reed and Amanda Donohoe that, surely, very few of you even faintly recall...!) 1974's Swept Away
(not the atrocious remake featuring the Mad Onna either) along with Daryl Hannah's Splash
, the more recent Aquamarine
and, perhaps, Julia Roberts' Eat, Love, Pray -
here, it would be Love, Eat, Digest
perhaps...?!? Sick, I tell you - sick humor!
Another one that is sadly true - which makes it that much worse to, ah, swallow...?
Now, the author of this ''CARICATURA RU''
hit the... no, not the fish but the nail indeed right on its head;
for, if we don't put a stop to our pollutive ways soon ,
this will be the only solution to keep our fishies alive -
But there is an audience for all of these forms of, ah, ''entertainment'' - of course.
And so, it is with all that in mind that we will conclude here today with a short series of inspiring shots, meant to be inspirational in the wake of a heat wave and another one coming before summer 2013 is all said and done with... So here is another one of our world-famous pictorials - aquaficonada-style...! ;-)
(Trust us - it will leave a far better taste in your mouths!)
Keep cool when the temperature goes far too high...
Drink lots of water...
And, whatever you do (...!)
all throughout the, ah, ordeal...
(We recommend H20 of course - not Jack Daniels!)