Thursday, March 21, 2019

World Water Day - LGBTQH2O


Aqua Anna here... essentially here to tell you that if you truly want to commemorate 

such a thing as ''World Water Day'' 

you might as well do it like that: 


but that is not an option, for some. 

If that's the case - read on! 





They may have got the excuse of being Canadian and all 
but these idiots up north make absolutely no sense at all 
by inviting (fellow Canadian) Ryan Reynolds to this thing 
- and daring to mention, in the same wake, 
#WorldWaterDay2019



As we all know 
- especially you, Luciano - 
World Water Day was still a month away 
- and, now, it is finally here; 
but look at what they've done with it... eh 


...that is the noble intention - but is it followed up on? 


...now this particular image seems to send the wrong message: 
like we are losing it all, wasting it - 
just like it happens when we leave the faucet on 
in our kitchens, bathrooms, whatever...! 
Way to go instilling in peeps the notion 
of not wasting water...!!! 
Must have been a guy who designed this... 



... a bit more restraint here - and logic, too - with Maven Logix; 
the last drop imagery is ominous, indeed. 
Can it be enough to give the idiots a sense of the true 
gravity of the matter here...? 
We can only hope so. 





... now the Muslim take on World Water Day. 
That third one takes the cake: wow. 
Way to go preparing for the Aquapocalypse there; 
isn't that what you coined it, Luminous Luciano? 
It will not be just for the infidels, apparently... 


... now, Aqua Anna couldn't agree more with that one! 
But just look at the womanly representative chosen for this: 
sure, she's an Aquaficionada too, but... 
She's a sister - no doubt about that... 
But she's more of a Third World dynamic - not an everyday topic... 
Not the kind of vision when you think of all the excesses; 
all the pollution - which comes from everywhere but 
Third World countries... She's not ''it'' - 
and she's not wet either. 
Definitely not the kind that would make me... 
Instead of making the ''water problem'' closer to home 
this sort of thing makes it further away, 
in the average North American dud's eyes... 
And that is counter-productive. 
(Agree or disagree, Luminous Luciano?)  

All this is quite enough to infuriate 
the most passionate of H2O purists - for sure. 




But how about this now, also: 




Isn't the English language just a tad bit 
more refined than this? 
Isn't it capable of finding and substituting 
a better word there in place of  ''absurd''...? 
Why is it not absurd, then, all the 
sorcerous shenanigans of Potter land dwellers? 
Why wasn't it used to describe the 
improbable denizens and protagonists 
of such films as Neverending Story... 
Labyrinth... Dark Crystal... hell, 
Star Wars, Star Trek and all the rest!? 
Why is it specifically ''absurd'' here - 
with a fantasy featuring sea creatures 
and the wondrous realm that exists 
down below, in our oceans...? 
ABSURD... ATLANTIS? 
I think not! 
ENCHANTING 
and a true MARVEL... yes! 
(lecturing Marvel here on what a genuine 
true blue MARVEL in all caps 
is supposed to be...!) 



Thought you'd find this aquamusing
Brie Larson's Captain Marvel has not only 
subjugated and humiliated herself 
serving pop corn and drinks to moviegoers in Jersey 
in total and complete servitude 
(proving herself to be less than a captain and more 
of a maid or a Ms, Marvel again...!) 
now she wants to go on a DC - 
a Disney Cruise, that is...!!! 



They ALL want to be... Aquaman and Mera! 

Do Feige Fags have no shame...??? 
No need to answer that!!! 



That little girl named Brie - still wet behind the ears, not between the legs; 
if it is between the legs, it isn't anything other than pee -  
she just dies of envy wishing she could be as majestic as 
this Sea Queen here - magnificently rendered into 
statuesque statuette form 
by one Joelle Jones 
(not one of J'onn J'onnzz' personas - no.) 
Mera does have a lot of... Medusa in her here - though! 

  But enough about all this! 

AQUA ANNA has a craving now - 
the thirst, shall we say... 

AND HERE IS JUST WHAT 
CAN SATISFY IT: 










INDEED... if all you aim for is to forget 
about the sad state the planet is in - 
forget and relax, in the comfort of your own home, 
in the safety and solace of her arms... 
and legs... then YES - INDEED: 
there is no better way to commemorate 
World Water Day - than by being WET! 


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WWD 2019

 World Water Day 

well, that was last month... 
today's THE DAY --- 
and what have you even done?!?

ONCE AGAIN WORLD WATER DAY 
IS A FLOOD OF GOOD INTENTIONS 
CASCADING DOWN UPON SOCIAL MEDIA 
AND WEBSITES IN GENERAL - 
JUST LOOK AT IT NOW: 








But how many will follow through 
with any of this... huh? 

How many will donate to organisms 
such as charitywater

I can tell you who will not: 


New Aqua Scribe Kelly Sue (not Peggy Sue; 
I know you have got the hugest crush on Kathleen Turner, 
Aqua Anna - ever since Romancing The Stone but, 
most specifically, ever since she started taking on 
lesbian roles repeatedly... so please contain yourself 
and your exxxcitement here - it is really not the place) 
and new artist Rocha (Luso...?) are taking a little 
and A LOT of inspiration from THE GOOD BOOK now 
in their latest adventures for ol' AQ... 
Alas, once again, the environmental topic 
-so taboo it appears to be, eh- 
is simply not broached at all. 

IN FACT...


AQUAMAN 
- whether the character published by DC Comics 
or the one portrayed by Jason Momoa on film - 
completely avoids the subject, each and every time; 
he'd rather continue to fight mythological figures, 
battle silly super-villains equally silly DC keeps throwing at him 
and fight for Atlantis' survival - apparently at the detriment 
of marine life, ecosystems and the greater, 
proverbial ''Bigger Picture'' overall...


A classic case of LOVED ONES AND THE LIKE coming 
before DUTY - as referred to early on in his GoT epic 
by writer George RR Martin - himself a scavenger 
of all things Biblical, Tolkien and Historical -  
merely repackaging it, rewording it (crudely) 
and representing it, mixed in with elements 
prickled from outrageous folk tales, fairy tale material 
and pure fantasy - for greater profit and the fun of it! 
It worked, too: Game of Thrones is a huge success - 
it spawned many new stars, side-effected spin-offy careers 
that have, in most cases, petered out actually... 
(The new Sarah Connor in Terminator: Genysis
the blasted wretch cast as Iron Fist; 
the "Half Man" destined to play in Hervé's biopic; 
the jury is still out on the new Jean Grey...!) 
Sean "The Real Mr" Bean and Jason Momoa himself 
have come from there; and the case can be made that 
if the latter is not killed off as Khal Drogo in GoT,  
he is not picked up by Zack Snyder as his Aquaman! 

But that's another story! 


completely omits any mention of World Water Day 
and its uncanny proximity to the actual date of release 
for the Blu-Ray and DVD of the film... 
On top of that - the website is NOT SECURE...!!! 
Zero mention of *WWD* on their social media presence 
- once again, as in previous years - 
only retweets of Oceana's nod to 
World Wildlife Day 
or Ocean Conservancy's "Turtle Tuesday" 
tongue-in-cheek "tradition" 
along with an occasional sea creature spotlight 
will ever surface on pages such as The Aquaverse
not officially sanctioned by DC at all. 
But even they... missed out of World Water Day!!! 


...this is all so very disappointing, 
DC...!!!  

Decades have passed, and nothing has really changed: 
I recall the time you started publishing your 
lamentable ''WHO'S WHO - the definitive directory 
of the DC universe'' in loose pages format - 
binder sold separately... DC! 
You announced who was going to be on the covers 
of all twelve (12) issues - and Aquaman wasn't there! 
I wrote to you then - I remember... as a fan! 
I wrote to complain about this; that here was one of your 
central characters - the one who represented 
the biggest chunk of the planet 
(not merely a fictional Chicago!)  
and he deserved to be on one of those covers. 
You did concede that - in large part due to 
the presence of a certain ''Doodles'' preditor 
(editor K. Dooley, prone to doodling at work) 
who happened to be an Aquaman fan, too... 
And he pulled whatever strings there were to pull  
in order to get it done - 
but then what was the result of that? 

THIS: 



...no, there is nothing intrinsically wrong 
with that Who's Who cover, per say... 
Except that this set back the character 
another decade or three! 
After years of being drawn by the likes of 
Jim Aparo, Dick Giordano and even 
Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez and George Perez, 
this was a huge letdown - 
and it only reinforced the pre-conceit 
and misconceptions uninformed little minds 
had about the character and his tales... 
Doodles Dooley and his chosen scribe and artist 
were not to last long at the bar of this ship! 
On top of that, that headline 
(''Aquaman swims back into action'' - ha!) 
gave away the sad truth about it all: 
in-between the years 1980 and 1995, 
DC had all but given up on this character! 
He was swimming in limbo - for a while! 
Which is not as bad as being killed off, 
outright - which he finally was years later, 
after his successful runs under, successively, 
Peter David's pen, Erik Larsen's pencils (...) 
and Dan Jurgens' entire set of crayons... 
NOT TO MENTION the ''Waterhand'' saga, 
with Rick Veitch helming the entire fleet...! 
Imagine that: he got killed off
after all that - plus a ''Just Imagine'' story 
by Stan Lee himself, reworking Aquaman 
in his own hackneyed, marvelous formulaic ways...!  



Aye, that WHO'S WHO cover that I had clamored for 
is just one of the most flamboyant examples  
showing DC's and Warner Bros' INEPTITUDE 
WHEN IT COMES TO ALL THINGS 
...

- it is sad, but true...! 


So, the fact that in 2019, when they had this 
golden opportunity to release the first-ever 
BLU-RAY / DVD / DIGITAL COMBO 
of the hugely successful and visually-stunning 
AQUAMAN MOVIE to coincide with 
WORLD WATER DAY... 
they totally and completely miss the boat on it 
- well, it is not surprising one iota. 
It is consistent with their misuse and poor handling 
of the property, over the course of some 
eighty (80) long years now... 


One could even excuse it - and explain it: 
they are reticent to get too involved 
with actual ecological and environmental concerns 
-even though they appear to be theirs to tackle- 
as it is not their primary business and objective here: 
newsflash (drum roll, please) --- AQUAMAN is NOT 
in the business of saving the seas, whales, coral reef, 
dolphins, sea life of any kind... He is not in the business 
of fetching drinkable water for anyone on the planet. 
Hell, he is not even in the business of preventing 
death by drowning for anyone out there! 
AQUAMAN is in the business of 
trying to make MONEY - 
selling entertainment 
for the masses! 


It is not at all surprising then - under that perspective -  
to see Aquaman's official pages on social media 
totally forget about all of these important dates 
- meant to raise awareness of these grave facts 
for the mindless, unconcerned, uncaring 
surface-dwellers who pollute the planet 
without a shred of repentance... 
World Oceans Day, World Water Day... 
Just a day like any other business day! 
AQUAMAN, as a fictional character whose 
sole function is to ENTERTAIN, can be held into 
account for any apparent flaw in his character - 
every little tiny bit of doubt over his effectiveness 
or even raison d'être -  such things have made 
lesser talents (lesser at entertaining) 
hugely famous: the wretched Seth of the Orville's 
pathetic toons come to mind here... 


And those two idiots behind the lamest 
attempt at animation ever seen in the history of television - 
whatsitcalled again - Southern... trailer Park trash, or something? 


and all the other nincompoops out there... 


BUT HE CANNOT BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE 
OF REAL-LIFE OCEAN POLLUTION - 
THE PROLIFERATION OF PLASTICS 
AND OTHER TRASH IN THE OCEANS - 
AND SO ON...! 

Audiences are inane - 
but they are not that inane! 

They know their characters 
are simply there for escapism - 
their escapism from the pressures 
of the real world - 
and how WE are destroying it! 

"Heroes" are not there to spread the awareness 
- and much less to actually save the day! 

THEY ARE JUST OUT 
TO MAKE A QUICK BUCK! 


And if they can make it by hashtagging along 
with a few trendy causes along the way 
(... say, like #BlackLivesMatterPanther 
or #CaptainWomensRightsMarvel  
or #HulkUpForAllBipolarDisorders 
or #XMenTransgenderedRightsForAll 
or #WonderEQUALITYWoman 
or, yes, #AquamanSaveTheWhalesToo...) 
they will - but not so overtly as that! 

The dichotomy remains clear 
between these two realms, verily - 
it is only audiences who support the fiction 
repeatedly -and I do mean repeatedly-  
that blur those separative borders 
and tack on greater meaning 
to works of pure fantasy 
that do not make things advance 
-in truth- one iota.  


Like... just look at this for a second: only a second, please! 
ALL THESE CHARACTERS - and nothing to fight for, 
really! Nothing to DO! No real motivation... 
Nothingness. 
Bonus note: check out what Aquaman is riding there... 
He's riding PLASTIC - PlasticMan's neck! 
This an attempt at an environmental joke, 
Kurt Busiek? George Perez? 
That is just SICK. 

The fanboys and average joes, alas, 
will rather invest in entertaining themselves 
-over and over again- 
than invest in changing things... 
They'd rather debate who is best 
between DC and Marvel 
rather than find the true culprits 
for social unbalance in the world. 

This is more along their ability to handle: 

 

And this form of fiction rarely tackles 
the real issues head on - 
Black Panther battled the token villain. 
Aquaman spent most of his film 
in-fighting amongst Atlanteans! 
No social or ecological issues 
were addressed, not for too long anyhow - 
only Orm Marius mentioned something, 
briefly... because it fit his character's 
motivation - that's all. 




A whole movie addressing real issues 
would cease to be "entertaining" - 
especially if one follows the Marvel model... 
(And DC appears to be adopting 
a similar approach, now...) 

AND THAT IS JUST TOO BAD. 

FOR IT IS A MISSED OPPORTUNITY - 
EACH TIME OUT... 

EACH "DAY" - 
SUCH AS WORLD WATER DAY. 






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Friday, March 08, 2019

Aqua Anna's Way



Would you care to know what a REAL 
Waterlogged, Seafaring, Fearless 
Woman's Woman 
likes to... watch 
and do 
on 
International 
Women's Day 
(and in preparation 
to getting wet 
for World Water Day 
as well... hmm?) 
HMM?

 THERE YOU GO: 













and my sincerest 
homages to 
those ladies 
who chose to be 
queens 
to a king - 
namely, 
the reigning 
Aquaficionada 
Supreme 
in these parts... 
MERA!





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