Monday, October 21, 2013

A.N.N. - it's ba-a-ack!

With our new hostess with the mostest - A.N.N.
(aka Aqua ANN) 
- the most fitting broad-caster for these 
Aqua News Network bits, don't you agree?
Hey - she's a certified Aquaficionada!

Hence, let us proceed...!

We recently added a new feature here, on our beloved aqua musings -
scroll down to the bottom of this sea, here, in order to see it...

Oh, then again, we'll show it to you right here and now:
and you will immediately understand why this had to become
an integral part
of our delightful compendium of ''aquastuff'' here...!
Just look at this:

Mera herself has never looked this... regal! 

Brought to you by the fine folks from ISSUU -
so, if you have any issue with this material, take it up with them! 
We, specifically here on aqua musings, 
(and nowhere else throughout the TLB Prime Network 
and luminous universe, overall)  
do tend to judge a book by its cover 
and so we chose this one entirely based upon THAT! 
Did you SEE THAT?!? 
What an awesome cover, with nice fishies and nice, ah, guppies? 
And so it is, by our standards here, 
It didn't hurt one iota that the portrayed nymph is totally 
Aquaficionada material, too! 
A win-win combination right there! 
As for the contents of said issue of ''the NEW Agora''...? 
Well... To tell the truth...
We didn't get past the cover, at blogging time...!

And for more on that cover's wondrous art, 

But don't be so quick to pass judgment upon us here...!

For what we, at aqua musings, did, basically 
is to simply seize the opportunity that was there - 
just like Pancho does all the time...!

Sneaky sea lion steals the catch of the day

Known to locals as Pancho, this sly animal has made a habit 
of snatching fish away from unsuspecting humans 
at the most opportune time; and the fact of the matter is 
he timed this one perfectly well...
(Courtesy of ''Water with The Griz'' - this time!)


Remember Baywatch?
Probably the closest we ever got to prove our point
about the comparisons to be made between
Aquaman and Ric Flair
(when the latter guest-appeared on that show,
along with Hulk Hogan, Macho Man Randy Poffo,
Kevin Sullivan and the man they called Vader...)

Most peeps (beachgoers, sunlovers and surf-enthusiasts,
all mixed!) remember Baywatch for two reasons:
the bikinis and the girls in those bikinis.
They were all actresses with limited range
(they could play it upbeat and not-so-upbeat, basically)
but they all qualified for the job for a vital combination
of key factors:
they could swim,
they looked good in their swimwear
and they kept in shape.
Anyone who's ever doubted those were key elements
and, that without any one of those, the actresses wouldn't even have a JOB
well - anyone like that was finally set straight, once and for all,
recently, when there was some sort of a mini-reunion
of the late, lamented Baywatch cast...
The Aqua-Revelations that followed were, shall we say,
This BAYWATCH REUNION set it all clear:
''It's not particularly shocking that a show about hot, 
scantily-clad lifeguards running around the beach 
would require a certain look from its cast,'' said one source, 
''But God (or, more appropriately said, the Producers) forbid 
that any of these (so-called) stars of 'the 90s syndicated hit 
would ever gain too much weight; for, if they did, 
''legally, they could have been fired from the show, back then.''

These revelations came as team-lead David Hasselhoff 
(''Mitch'' on the show - anybody remembers that? Anybody CARES..?) 
gathered up again with old standbys ''Neely'' 
(not Cam The Man; Gena Lee Nolin, rather!) 
''Craig'' (not the A-lister - ever! Rather, one of the old Hardy Boys: 
Parker Stevenson, who, after all these years, is somehow  
still pulling off a sort of Dorian Grey-Dick Clark trick there...)
''Shauni'' (and we thought, back then, that Erika Eleniak's character 
had the goofiest name of them all: we hadn't thought of 
the roguish ''Sookie'' fairy, yet...!)  
(not-so) luminous ''Leigh'' (Brande Roderick), 
(now) voluminous ''Summer'' (Nicole Eggert - 
she's fiiiiirrrrrred! Oh, right: it's too late now. The show's cancelled!),
''Jordan'' (Traci Bingham) 
and the boys... 
(''Logan'' - no, not Wolverine! Just Jaason Simmons... 
And ''Cody'' - David Chokachi! Always called him 
''Count Chokachi'' - always will! 
He was one of two ''D.C.s'' on the show: 
the other one, David Charvet aka ''Matt'' 
but no Mason 
was a no-show for this mini-reunion! 
There was also a more curvaceous traitor 
who didn't bother with this at all: 
ol' ''C.J.'' herself - 
Pamela Anderson. 
But, hey - Carmen Electra also didn't come!)

Everyone there told the same sordid story: 
during those tortuous years of ''Baywatching'' 
there was a five pound fluctuation barometer;  
if anyone went over (but also, possibly, under) by five, 
they were in deep trouble! 
Pun totally intended, of course.
Ah, the sacrifices one has to make 
in order to remain on a mind-numbing show like this! 
Must have been the same thing for Flipper... 

It was fascinating to watch this unfold, though, over at 
"Entertainment Tonight" since the beloved
 "Baywatch" cast was being interviewed by the
ever-reliable reporter and "ET's" own Brooke Anderson 
with a valuable assist from one ''special correspondent'' named... 
Taylor Hasselhoff?  Nepotism-alert, anyone? 
The whole thing happened thanks to a recent Hollywood Show - 
which is nothing other than an umpteenth ''con'' of sorts; 
an event tailor-made for nostalgia and TV buffs...
''Neely'' - er, sorry, Gena Lee Nolin, rather, 
took advantage of this opportunity to promote 
her book, which chronicles *real weight fluctuations* 
(more than five pounds!) that she had to deal with 
after her departure from the show. 
In her case, it is all due to a condition she has; 
a thyroid disease that was both misdiagnosed 
and outright overlooked by her quacks... 
The title she chose for her book is 
"Beautiful Inside And Out — Conquering Thyroid Disease 
With A Healthy, Happy, Thyroid Sexy Life."
Yeah - quite the mouthful! 
Now, as long as there is no reunion scheduled
for the late, lamented casts of both
Falcon Beach and Mercy Reef
late, lamented shows...!
Because the doubters sure don't want to find out
what atrocities went into the production
of those two...!!! 

And don't get me started on Dawson's Creek now...!


I think we could all use a little Spongebob Moment after this...
Like... Imagine a beach without lifeguards whose jugs weigh more than 5 pounds...

Okay - maybe you DON'T WANT to imagine such a thing!
We understand... and sympathize.

But, now, in order to finish in style 
this latest installment of aqua musings, 
let's go back to the aquaficionada aura 
projected by that AGORA cover... 
(lest it is the one cast out by the Bewitched cast... 
er, WeightWatch reunion...
ah, darn it, BAYWATCH crowd!)

shall we?

Who would like to Come to The Hippodrome Casino 
on Tuesday 22nd October 2013, 
for the stage final of Miss Scuba UK 2013

Email to purchase your tickets.

Wow - MISS SCUBA UK wannabees...! 
And eight of them too! (Who cares about the 2 hosts?)
Mucho better than Playboy Bunnies, Penthouse Pets 
and, certainly, MK Ultras too!
Now THERE's a bunch of 
Aquaficionadas all right...! 
Or future Octo-Moms... 
Your pick!
(Octo... there's 8 of them... Get it?)

Okay, now, that should make for a solid WRAP! 
Aqua ANN here will see you off 
with, naturally, an offer you can't refuse...

Just click on her to find out what THAT is ALL about...!

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~My Mer-name is Glaucus Bioluminescence. Wow ~ even the Mer~folk agree that I am luminous! ~They identify me with a minor sea~deity though: Glaukos has nothing to do with glaucoma, at least ~~~ (thank God! The REAL GOD!) ~~~~ Oh... no; Glaukos gave its color to glaucoma... :( ~~ well, says they! ~~~~~~~~ Aegir, Poseidon, Triton and scores of others are more powerful than him, anyway... so there! Everything will be fine! The Aquaficionadas are on my side! :)
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  15. THANK U (Alanis Morissette)
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  32. SUPER RAD (The Aquabats)
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... An LP Anthem to the end of a childhood dream...? By LP...
... and assorted aquatic tunes for your listening pleasure... (l.p.)...!
But now, for your reading pleasure... ISSUU - brought to you by... an Aquaficionada!

Look, below, on this luminous aqua-map:
PROOF that the Earth is indeed 70% SEA WATER!
Weep, batty ones! ;)

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