A ''B.C.'' Acting Like A ''D.C.''
Bee Cave Blackjack Casino Slots basically chose to reproduce an Atlantis much like DC's in its fancy thematic game ''K.o.A'' and not any other version of the famed lost continent - certainly not Marvel's! Now, try and explain that, all you idiotic nitwits stuck up on the mere fact that some pointy-eared freakazoid who only foreshadows the Impossible Man and stole, in the murky process initiated by Bill Everett, Mercury's ankle-wings schtick, Dracula's aura and quite-accidentally the still-unborn Mr. Spock's overall, ah, shall we say ''candor'' to be nice? That misbegotten mutant of a character, purported to be a prince but only a bastard offspring from a race of pretenders, managed all that, sure, as he came to the surface a mere two years before the veritable superman of the seas, garbed in royal orange-and-green from the very get-go, It doesn't impress anyone with half-a-brain; especially since anyone with half-a-brain can see that this ''submariner'' is so obviously an inferior mimicking job of the superman they were trying to imitate in 1939. Now, two years later, Mort Weisinger and Paul Norris created a true equivalent to that superman from the stars: with their superman of the seas, eventually crowned as the king that Atlantis deserves to have, but dubbed, in an equally-mimicking effort to match that superman... aquaman. Haven't you all heard of fine tuning a concept, ironing out all the odd ideas (simply there to differentiate the main protagonist from that certain guy purported to be a Man of Steel - ha!) and finally getting it right the second time...? Hmm?
Well, whoever they are, the guys in that Bee Cave did the right thing (just as the current crop of Dastardly Contributors who were given the mandate to ''make Aquaman a top priority character'' as their company expands its live action horizons... Again - ha! Too late to interest *me* however - who only saw all of those flicks (The Avengers, Iron Men 1 through 3, The Dark Knight trilogy, Man of Steel, Thor, all those crappy Hulks, Spider-Man, Captain America and even The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen...!) only when it was free for me to watch them...! But that's another story...) The Blackjack Casino slots (pun aquamusingly intended) have therefore proven to have much better taste and, heck, they have plain common sense: as they went with a blond, musclebound merman to champion their ''Kingdom of Atlantis'' (coupled with a dark-haired mermaid - no redheads, alas! Oh, wait; they couldn't resist: they have them too! Mera is flattered...) instead of any scrawny freak with pointy ears for alienesque feel and the most ridiculous wings ever, just for the bogus feeling of ''originality'' - which is totally misleading, too! ''Namor'' has more in common with Pan (not Peter) than he does with anything from Atlantis! Neptune would have never taken in such an illegitimate scion...!!! He would have impaled the bastard with his trident instead and left that skeletonesque figure to rot in the tidal waves! But that's another story...
Besides, and quite ironically enough too
(as it burns the butts of those prone to defend the
least worthy member of the Defenders -
again, ironically* enough...)
the actual original god of the seas
(not to offend fans of Aegir)
Poseidon is firmly behind AQ - again! -
judging from the KoA visuals above...
He may a Duke of Wahlburgers in Boston, however...!
and dropṗing ẉeight every day in record time
Hugh Jackman claims this was a 'game changer'
- or rusty - or both!
when he lost his hand; you lost yours!
Changes the game,
flexes ''BEACH MUSCLE''
(though weakling idiots such as Seth Mac
haven't got a clue what that might be like...)
*and* it potentially boosts
your sagging popularity too, eh?
Makes complete and absolute sense...
I would be remiss if I did not reaffirm my belief
and deep conviction, before we swim away, that
the true least worthy member of the Deafs
is really... that awful Strange Doc.
Followed by Subby, followed by ''Hellcat''...
And that list could go on and on, really...
A hell of a lot of Hellions there, you know!
As for the JUSTICE LEAGUE -
the least worthy members are so obvious:
Atom... Hawkman... BATMAN.
But that's another (silly) story...
like all those games out there!
In closing, something WORTHY OF AQUA MUSINGS...
FROM A TRUE DENIZEN OF THE SEA:
Got that, MARINELAND...?
''Shut it down! Shut it down! Shut it down!''