Thursday, March 21, 2019

WWD 2019

 World Water Day 

well, that was last month... 
today's THE DAY --- 
and what have you even done?!?

ONCE AGAIN WORLD WATER DAY 
IS A FLOOD OF GOOD INTENTIONS 
CASCADING DOWN UPON SOCIAL MEDIA 
AND WEBSITES IN GENERAL - 
JUST LOOK AT IT NOW: 








But how many will follow through 
with any of this... huh? 

How many will donate to organisms 
such as charitywater

I can tell you who will not: 


New Aqua Scribe Kelly Sue (not Peggy Sue; 
I know you have got the hugest crush on Kathleen Turner, 
Aqua Anna - ever since Romancing The Stone but, 
most specifically, ever since she started taking on 
lesbian roles repeatedly... so please contain yourself 
and your exxxcitement here - it is really not the place) 
and new artist Rocha (Luso...?) are taking a little 
and A LOT of inspiration from THE GOOD BOOK now 
in their latest adventures for ol' AQ... 
Alas, once again, the environmental topic 
-so taboo it appears to be, eh- 
is simply not broached at all. 

IN FACT...


AQUAMAN 
- whether the character published by DC Comics 
or the one portrayed by Jason Momoa on film - 
completely avoids the subject, each and every time; 
he'd rather continue to fight mythological figures, 
battle silly super-villains equally silly DC keeps throwing at him 
and fight for Atlantis' survival - apparently at the detriment 
of marine life, ecosystems and the greater, 
proverbial ''Bigger Picture'' overall...


A classic case of LOVED ONES AND THE LIKE coming 
before DUTY - as referred to early on in his GoT epic 
by writer George RR Martin - himself a scavenger 
of all things Biblical, Tolkien and Historical -  
merely repackaging it, rewording it (crudely) 
and representing it, mixed in with elements 
prickled from outrageous folk tales, fairy tale material 
and pure fantasy - for greater profit and the fun of it! 
It worked, too: Game of Thrones is a huge success - 
it spawned many new stars, side-effected spin-offy careers 
that have, in most cases, petered out actually... 
(The new Sarah Connor in Terminator: Genysis; 
the blasted wretch cast as Iron Fist; 
the "Half Man" destined to play in Hervé's biopic; 
the jury is still out on the new Jean Grey...!) 
Sean "The Real Mr" Bean and Jason Momoa himself 
have come from there; and the case can be made that 
if the latter is not killed off as Khal Drogo in GoT,  
he is not picked up by Zack Snyder as his Aquaman! 

But that's another story! 


completely omits any mention of World Water Day 
and its uncanny proximity to the actual date of release 
for the Blu-Ray and DVD of the film... 
On top of that - the website is NOT SECURE...!!! 
Zero mention of *WWD* on their social media presence 
- once again, as in previous years - 
only retweets of Oceana's nod to 
World Wildlife Day 
or Ocean Conservancy's "Turtle Tuesday" 
tongue-in-cheek "tradition" 
along with an occasional sea creature spotlight 
will ever surface on pages such as The Aquaverse - 
not officially sanctioned by DC at all. 
But even they... missed out of World Water Day!!! 


...this is all so very disappointing, 
DC...!!!  

Decades have passed, and nothing has really changed: 
I recall the time you started publishing your 
lamentable ''WHO'S WHO - the definitive directory 
of the DC universe'' in loose pages format - 
binder sold separately... DC! 
You announced who was going to be on the covers 
of all twelve (12) issues - and Aquaman wasn't there! 
I wrote to you then - I remember... as a fan! 
I wrote to complain about this; that here was one of your 
central characters - the one who represented 
the biggest chunk of the planet 
(not merely a fictional Chicago!)  
and he deserved to be on one of those covers. 
You did concede that - in large part due to 
the presence of a certain ''Doodles'' preditor 
(editor K. Dooley, prone to doodling at work) 
who happened to be an Aquaman fan, too... 
And he pulled whatever strings there were to pull  
in order to get it done - 
but then what was the result of that? 

THIS: 



...no, there is nothing intrinsically wrong 
with that Who's Who cover, per say... 
Except that this set back the character 
another decade or three! 
After years of being drawn by the likes of 
Jim Aparo, Dick Giordano and even 
Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez and George Perez, 
this was a huge letdown - 
and it only reinforced the pre-conceit 
and misconceptions uninformed little minds 
had about the character and his tales... 
Doodles Dooley and his chosen scribe and artist 
were not to last long at the bar of this ship! 
On top of that, that headline 
(''Aquaman swims back into action'' - ha!) 
gave away the sad truth about it all: 
in-between the years 1980 and 1995, 
DC had all but given up on this character! 
He was swimming in limbo - for a while! 
Which is not as bad as being killed off, 
outright - which he finally was years later, 
after his successful runs under, successively, 
Peter David's pen, Erik Larsen's pencils (...) 
and Dan Jurgens' entire set of crayons... 
NOT TO MENTION the ''Waterhand'' saga, 
with Rick Veitch helming the entire fleet...! 
Imagine that: he got killed off - 
after all that - plus a ''Just Imagine'' story 
by Stan Lee himself, reworking Aquaman 
in his own hackneyed, marvelous formulaic ways...!  



Aye, that WHO'S WHO cover that I had clamored for 
is just one of the most flamboyant examples  
showing DC's and Warner Bros' INEPTITUDE 
WHEN IT COMES TO ALL THINGS 
...

- it is sad, but true...! 


So, the fact that in 2019, when they had this 
golden opportunity to release the first-ever 
BLU-RAY / DVD / DIGITAL COMBO 
of the hugely successful and visually-stunning 
AQUAMAN MOVIE to coincide with 
WORLD WATER DAY... 
they totally and completely miss the boat on it 
- well, it is not surprising one iota. 
It is consistent with their misuse and poor handling 
of the property, over the course of some 
eighty (80) long years now... 


One could even excuse it - and explain it: 
they are reticent to get too involved 
with actual ecological and environmental concerns 
-even though they appear to be theirs to tackle- 
as it is not their primary business and objective here: 
newsflash (drum roll, please) --- AQUAMAN is NOT 
in the business of saving the seas, whales, coral reef, 
dolphins, sea life of any kind... He is not in the business 
of fetching drinkable water for anyone on the planet. 
Hell, he is not even in the business of preventing 
death by drowning for anyone out there! 
AQUAMAN is in the business of 
trying to make MONEY - 
selling entertainment 
for the masses! 


It is not at all surprising then - under that perspective -  
to see Aquaman's official pages on social media 
totally forget about all of these important dates 
- meant to raise awareness of these grave facts 
for the mindless, unconcerned, uncaring 
surface-dwellers who pollute the planet 
without a shred of repentance... 
World Oceans Day, World Water Day... 
Just a day like any other business day! 
AQUAMAN, as a fictional character whose 
sole function is to ENTERTAIN, can be held into 
account for any apparent flaw in his character - 
every little tiny bit of doubt over his effectiveness 
or even raison d'être -  such things have made 
lesser talents (lesser at entertaining) 
hugely famous: the wretched Seth of the Orville's 
pathetic toons come to mind here... 


And those two idiots behind the lamest 
attempt at animation ever seen in the history of television - 
whatsitcalled again - Southern... trailer Park trash, or something? 


and all the other nincompoops out there... 


BUT HE CANNOT BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE 
OF REAL-LIFE OCEAN POLLUTION - 
THE PROLIFERATION OF PLASTICS 
AND OTHER TRASH IN THE OCEANS - 
AND SO ON...! 

Audiences are inane - 
but they are not that inane! 

They know their characters 
are simply there for escapism - 
their escapism from the pressures 
of the real world - 
and how WE are destroying it! 

"Heroes" are not there to spread the awareness 
- and much less to actually save the day! 

THEY ARE JUST OUT 
TO MAKE A QUICK BUCK! 


And if they can make it by hashtagging along 
with a few trendy causes along the way 
(... say, like #BlackLivesMatterPanther 
or #CaptainWomensRightsMarvel  
or #HulkUpForAllBipolarDisorders 
or #XMenTransgenderedRightsForAll 
or #WonderEQUALITYWoman 
or, yes, #AquamanSaveTheWhalesToo...) 
they will - but not so overtly as that! 

The dichotomy remains clear 
between these two realms, verily - 
it is only audiences who support the fiction 
repeatedly -and I do mean repeatedly-  
that blur those separative borders 
and tack on greater meaning 
to works of pure fantasy 
that do not make things advance 
-in truth- one iota.  


Like... just look at this for a second: only a second, please! 
ALL THESE CHARACTERS - and nothing to fight for, 
really! Nothing to DO! No real motivation... 
Nothingness. 
Bonus note: check out what Aquaman is riding there... 
He's riding PLASTIC - PlasticMan's neck! 
This an attempt at an environmental joke, 
Kurt Busiek? George Perez? 
That is just SICK. 

The fanboys and average joes, alas, 
will rather invest in entertaining themselves 
-over and over again- 
than invest in changing things... 
They'd rather debate who is best 
between DC and Marvel 
rather than find the true culprits 
for social unbalance in the world. 

This is more along their ability to handle: 

 

And this form of fiction rarely tackles 
the real issues head on - 
Black Panther battled the token villain. 
Aquaman spent most of his film 
in-fighting amongst Atlanteans! 
No social or ecological issues 
were addressed, not for too long anyhow - 
only Orm Marius mentioned something, 
briefly... because it fit his character's 
motivation - that's all. 




A whole movie addressing real issues 
would cease to be "entertaining" - 
especially if one follows the Marvel model... 
(And DC appears to be adopting 
a similar approach, now...) 

AND THAT IS JUST TOO BAD. 

FOR IT IS A MISSED OPPORTUNITY - 
EACH TIME OUT... 

EACH "DAY" - 
SUCH AS WORLD WATER DAY. 






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Saturday, March 24, 2018

World Water Week

... because 
a single day is not enough! 
World Water Day - "WWD" 
was beginning to sound like 
a World War anyway...
And it's probably what it is. 
We are at WAR - 
(no, not an Aqua War like 
you did in your books, DC; 
following that Blackest Night 
with a Brightest Day there 
so optimistically though quite 
unrealistically as always, so  
- no, sorry, Geoff! 
Marvel? Don't make me laugh: 
they've never done squat 
and are ill-served with their 
Hydro Base, Hydro-Man... 
and an irksome sub-mariner!)
we are at war with those 
.
who would do nothing 
.
about our waters...

And this war has been going on 
for 25 years already...





WORLD WATER WEEK: 

a much improved version of 
"WWW"





... quite a few 
Luminous Aquaficionadas 
COMING OUT 
during World Water Week...!
That is GREAT.





And, year after year, 
we wonder and we lament: 
why is Aquaman remaining 
silent on this? 
You're not like the other guy, 
Aquaman (and we don't mean 
Jason Momoa: we mean 
that stinky sub-mariner indeed!) 
you actually care about the seas! 
It's not just about yourself; 
it is about the oceans 
and the purity of all of that water! 
And you have nothing to say 
on WORLD WATER DAY 
(now extended to a whole week!) 
HUH?!? 

Say something Aquaman: 
at least ONE WORD on the situation...
come on!


"We Have A Dream"


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Sunday, March 22, 2015

World Water Day

Today is World Water Day - and we would be remiss, here, at aqua musings, if we did not, well... at least save water today? We'll skip a shower today - there!  We'll be blogging instead...!

Do your part, too!  Don't be a dumba$$ Sub-Mareener - who only thinks of himself and what is hidden in his speedos whenever he sees one Susan Storm Richards! Don't be like a privateer, buccaneer or some other unfortunate queer scavenging the seven seas - for they view the sea as only a means of transportation of their loot, that's all!  Finally -and most unfortunate of all- don't be an Aquaman! Yes! DON'T! It pains us to say this, especially on this day and all, but when we see the one and only AQUA-MAN simply NOT saying A THING about this momentous day, whether on his Facebook page, via that shrine devoted to his legend (!) or quite simply through the toilet - well... it hurts!  It hurts real bad!  It would be like the Hamburglar letting us all down, once it was Hamburger Day and he just would not pull a Robin Hood on his employer and steal those cheap burgers and distribute them to the poor saps who would eat them... for example.

There is only one word that can sum up what we feel in this absence of any official AQUA word from the Aquaman himself on this extremely important, extremely special day - and it is...

You got that right, AquaCartoonMan - 
this is an outrage!

WORLD... WATER.. DAY... And the one man who knows best what the value of it truly is remains totally mum on the subject?  Mum's the word? Well, mum is not the world - the real world, that is - thank God! Since...well, way back... March 22nd has been the time to try and make an unconscious world very much conscious about this great challenge ahead of us: FOR WATER IS LIFE and to contemplate a planet without enough of it is to stare DEATH STRAIGHT IN... well, the eye socket, really.  (Don't tell me you believed that ''death'' could be an entity such as the voluptuous, even though sickly pale and bony at best one depicted in the Neil Gaiman, DC-Vertigo tall tales - now did you?!?  What is your problem, sailors? Sirens and mermaids are not your cup of java anymore? Lusting after Mera is too painful now that you fully realize you can never have her? Harley Quinn is not enough weirdness-made-woman for you? Well - let's just not go there right now...!)

CELEBRATE WORLD WATER DAY - HECK, MAKE EVERYDAY WORLD WATER DAY! 

Because we are that close to the Aquapocalypse folks - I tell ya...!





But don't simply add to the outrage now...


... buying some pricey, trendy coffee from the EVIL SIREN there; 
sipping it casually, like you would do on any other day, 
NOT GIVING WATER DAY ANOTHER THOUGHT!

You better not flush once you go take a leak 
some twenty minutes later...!

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